Playtime
by Peregrin Tiberius Holmes
Summary: Just some random goofiness I don't know if I'll write more on it but we'll leave it as in progress just incase I change my mind which I am prone to do. Props to my friend Denise for getting this ball rolling with that damn Shatner pudding vid. . .


Kirk grinned down at Spock from his perch in the tree. He'd been playing hide and go seek with Uhura, Chekov and Scotty. It was later that Spock decided that it was time to go back to the ship to try and fix the crew.

"Captain!" Spock shouted. "I refuse to stand out here calling for you. Come here immediately."

"No!"Kirk covered his mouth with both hands.

Spock whirled around and his gaze unerringly found the tree Kirk was hiding in. He walked around it twice before thinking of looking up.

"Captain come down immediately." Spock frowned up at him hands on hips.

"I wanna play more. Why'd you have to take Scotty and Chekov away? We were gonna play soldiers next."

"Scotty and Chekov are on the ship with Dr. McCoy which is where you'll be going right now."

Kirk glared down and stuck his tongue out. "You can't make me go to the doctor. I'm the Captain you have to listen to me."

"Beam us up now."

Kirk futilely wrapped his arms around the trunk. Seconds later in the transporter room he fell a few inches jarringly on his rear.

"You cheated!" he screeched kicking his feet. "That's not fair I'm telling!"

"The Captain seems to have eaten something planet side that was most disagreeable."

The two crew men stared at Spock for a moment before nodding slowly. They watched as he pinched the Captain rendering him unconscious then tossed him over a shoulder.

"I will be taking him to sickbay immediately. If anything unusual happens you can find me there to get instruction."

"Yes sir."

Spock eyed them both then stalked down to sickbay through as many back ways as possible trying to avoid the crew. He was relieved to enter sickbay just as Kirk was beginning to come around.

"Dr. McCoy?" Spock stood in the entryway. "Where do you want me to place the Captain?"

"You may as well toss him in a corner. I can almost guarantee that as soon as he's awake he's going to start trouble."

"I do not believe that is a likely-"

"Spock, as soon as Chekov and Scotty woke up they had half of sickbay torn apart." McCoy waved a hand to show both men sitting in opposite corners pouting.

"Where is Lt. Uhura?"

"I sent her off with Yeoman Rand and Nurse Chapel. I can't believe it but my mother was right, girls are easier."

Kirk chose that moment to come around and start screaming and flailing, Spock almost dropped him in surprise. One of Kirk's feet connected with Spock's side right by his heart and he dumped him to the floor.

"James Tiberius Kirk, that is enough!" Spock shouted then continued in a low menacing growl. "You are Captain of the Enterprise and by Surek you will act like it."

It was hard to tell who was more surprised. McCoy's mouth was open eyes wide, Scotty and Chekov had shrank back into their corners and Kirks tawny eyes were swimming with tears.

"I'm sorry Jim, I didn't mean to yell at you." Spock's hands wavered uncertainly over Kirk's shaking shoulders.

"I don't like you anymore." Kirk muttered keeping his face turned away but Spock could see tears running down his cheeks.

"Jim, I" Spock trailed off and straightened suddenly. "Doctor if you need me I will be on the bridge."

"Spock don't get upset he's got a mind like a five year old. No child likes being yelled at." McCoy laid a comforting hand on Spock's shoulder which got shrugged off.

"I am aware of that and I am not upset." Spock walked out the door after slamming a hand on the button to open it.

"Not upset my arse." McCoy looked down at Kirk who was still sniffling on the floor. "Alright you, corner now."

"That's not fair I didn't do nothin."

"You're being a brat and that means you get in the corner until I can figure out what to do with you." McCoy pulled him to his feet and gave him a firm shove in the right direction.

"Uhura's not in the corner she got to go play. I'm the Captain so you have to listen to me and I want to go play now!"

"That's right you have ta listen ta him cause he's the boss." Scotty piped up.

McCoy watched as Scotty and Chekov ran out of their corners to stand behind Kirk. All three wore mulish expressions, arms crossed over their chests.

"As Captain I say we go to the mess hall and eat ice cream!"

"You can have ice cream after I get done with blood work and trying to figure out what the hell you did to get into trouble."

"No." Kirk turned on his heel and stormed out with Scotty and Chekov right behind him.

"Security, grab those three men and drag them back in here. They're sick and don't know what they're doing."

"Let me go right now! I'll tell Mr. Spock on you." Kirk yelled struggling between two burly security guards. "He'll take you both on and beat you up if you don't listen to me."

"Sit down and shut up Jim, this has to get done we don't have twenty-five years to wait for your brain to catch up." McCoy grabbed a few hypos and knocked the three of them out.

After the three men were sedated McCoy sent security to bring Uhura down to sick bay and started drawing blood. Uhura came in with a small ice cream cone and sat on an empty bed swinging her heels.

"Is it going to hurt?"

"No sweetheart you won't even feel a thing." McCoy assured her as he wiped a spot clean on her arm.

Half an hour later the men had woken and immediately started whining. When that didn't get them out of sickbay they began to pick on Uhura until she was crying.

"God blast it if you three don't stop I am going to tan your hides."

"You can't do that. I'm the captain." Kirk stuck out his tongue and yanked viciously on one of Uhura's curls.

McCoy didn't even pause to think, he reached out grabbed Kirk by the collar and swatted him on the rear with his clipboard. The look of surprised hurt on Kirk's face almost made McCoy laugh but he forced it down and pointed at a corner.

"I can't believe you hit me." Kirk whispered his eyes filling with tears.

"Put those Cadillac tears away James and get in that corner."

McCoy watched him slink over to a corner and sit there with one of the most hang dog expressions he'd ever seen. After he was sure that Kirk would stay put he turned and eyed the other three who jumped.

"Now, which one of you wants to tell me what you did planet side?"

"We didn't do anything wrong!" Uhura whined.

"I didn't say you did." McCoy massaged the bridge of his nose. "Did you drink or eat anything while we were down there?"

He watched Scotty and Uhura glance at Chekov before shaking their heads silently. McCoy turned his attention to Chekov and stared at him eyebrow cocked until he broke.

"It vas just some fruit." Chekov muttered.

"Fruit? What fruit?"

"I don't know it vas fruit and ve vere hungry." Chekov's eyes were beginning to fill with tears.

"Don't you dare start crying."

"Leave 'im alone!" Scotty yelled and McCoy felt something wet slide down his cheek.

McCoy could feel his left eye start twitching, "What was that?"

"Ye leave 'im alone or there'll be more where that come from!" Scotty fists were clenched and his jaw was set.

Before he could do or say anything pain exploded in his calf. Kirk stood behind him with a frown, arms crossed over his chest. McCoy grabbed him with one hand and slapped him. Kirk fell to the ground and began to bawl.

"Doctor!"

McCoy turned and found Spock standing in the entryway staring at him in shock.

"I didn't think, I just. . ." McCoy stopped and went to his office.

"Spock!" Kirk jumped off the floor and flung himself onto the Vulcan's chest. "McCoy's being mean can I come with you?"

"Me too, me too!" came the resounding chorus from the other three.

Spock was unsure what to do with the man wrapped around him and finally just left his hands up in the air. Scotty, Chekov and Uhura were standing there looking at him, begging.

"I am sure that Dr. McCoy did not mean to lose control of his temper and would be more than happy to apologize for his actions."

"I don't want to stay here! I wanna go with you!" Kirk tilted his head back and his tawny eyes were pitiful.

"You cannot go with me Jim until you're in better health."

"I'm not sick!" Kirk stomped his foot angrily and Spock winced when it slammed into his.

"Jim I meant your mind," Spock grabbed Kirk's wrists and tried to gently pull them apart.

"What's wrong with it?"

"You are not yourself." Spock gave up with a sigh. "You need to let go of me now Jim and let Dr. McCoy help you get better."

"But I'm hungry."

"You are just being difficult right now, you are grasping at the proverbial straw."

"Jim?"

Spock turned his head and saw McCoy standing in the doorway to his office. Kirk tucked his head deeper into into Spock's chest and didn't respond.

"I'm sorry Jim, I wasn't thinking and it hurt and," McCoy trailed off as he reached them, a hand out to touch Jim's shoulder.

"You're mean." came the muffled reply.

"I know but I am sorry." McCoy said letting his hand fall to his side

Kirk turned his head to look at McCoy and gave him a watery smile.

"Jim you should apologize for hurting Dr. McCoy."

"But he was bullying Chekov, he was making him cry."

Spock turned a raised eyebrow to McCoy who shrugged his shoulders.

"You are supposed to use your words." Spock glared when he heard McCoy chuckled behind his hand.

"Can we go get something to eat?" Scotty piped up.

"I'm hungry too!" Chekov tugged on Spock's sleeve.

"Me too." Uhura wrapped herself around Spock's other arm.

"Doctor." Spock's eyes were pleading.

McCoy had to fight off a laughing fit, Spock had all four staring up at him like puppy's that had been kicked. He didn't seem to know what to do about them.

"I suppose we're going to have to let them get something to eat if we're going to get any work done."

The resounding cheers were almost deafening. Spock stiffened when all four clung to him and tried to extricate himself without any luck.

"Spock? I think you should take them down the mess hall." McCoy kept his face sincere although inside he was practically dying of laughter.

"Doctor I am needed on the bridge."

"You can't go to the bridge you have to come with us."

"Yes with us!"

"You appear to be overruled." McCoy's voice was strained as his chuckling threatened to choke him.

"Dr. McCoy, I have my duties to the Federation."

"But I'm the Captain and this is my ship so you have to do what I tell you." Kirk frowned up at him. "You're gonna take us to get something to eat."

"And who is going to be taking care of the bridge while the rest of us are eating?"

"Sulu, can take the bridge long enough for you to get these brats fed."

The look Spock sent him was so venomous McCoy almost collapsed in hysterics. He watched as Kirk grabbed Spock's wrist and dragged him from sick bay followed by the others whooping and hollering. McCoy fell back on his bed laughing and clenching his belly. Chapel found him like that fifteen minutes later when she came to help him run tests.

Spock was sure he was in one of the fabled Nine Circles of Hell. It had taken over twenty minutes to finally get them settled down and choose something. They'd all wanted ice cream but Spock had vetoed that immediately despite the tears and pouting. He had eventually compromised and given them pudding which could at least be somewhat nutritious with fruit.

"Spock do you want some?" Kirk shoved a heaping spoonful into his face.

"No thank you." Spock recoiled almost falling from his chair.

"It's good, all chocolatey and gooey." Kirk grinned licking some off of the spoon. Spock twitched as a goblet fell onto his shirt.

"Jim please be more careful." He frowned, wiped the pudding from his shirt and put the napkin on the table. Spock looked at the other three and saw that Chekov was the only clean one. Were human children this messy all the time?

"Spock?" Kirk whined.

"I told you, I do not wa-" Spock instinctively swallowed the pudding that was in his mouth seeing as spitting was not an option.

"It's good right?" Kirk beamed at him and began to shovel more into his mouth.

"Mr. Spock is turning green is he going to be sick?" Uhura asked as she tilted her head to the side.

"What's wrong?" Kirk dropped his spoon and leaned closer to search Spock's face. "He is going green. We should get Dr. McCoy."

"That will not be necessary I am fine."

"You don't look fine." Kirk frowned. "Is the pudding going to make me sick too?"

"No Jim, eat your pudding I will go talk to Dr. McCoy." Spock stood abruptly and walked out of the mess hall at a fast clip.

"Spock what's wrong?" McCoy jumped up from his desk.

"There is nothing remiss Doctor."

"Then why'd you come barging in like the hounds of hell were on your tail?"

"Are human children always quite so prone to forcing things into others mouths?" Spock's hands clenched and unclenched at his side.

"What do you mean?" McCoy could feel the laughing fit coming back.

"Jim decided that I had to taste his chocolate pudding and shoved a spoonful into my mouth."

"I see." McCoy watched as Spock licked the corner of his mouth without realizing.

"I am unable to continue watching them you would be better finding someone else."

"Surely one bite of pudding wasn't enough to turn that cast iron gullet of yours."

"It is not the pudding, and my stomach is fine."

McCoy eyed him for a moment noticing a bit more color in his cheeks and his eyes were brighter than normal.

"Then what is it Spock?"

"Doctor you are aware that Vulcans and chocolate are a horrible combination?"

"I heard somewhere that chocolate could cause an inebriated effect but surely one bite of chocolate pudding wouldn't-"

"It was not a 'bite'." Spock cut him off dryly.

"You just said that Jim shoved a spoonful into your mouth how much was on the spoon?"

"In comparison to one of your shots of whiskey it would be approximately two or three."

"Pretty big spoonful." McCoy said as he turned to shuffle papers on his desk to hide his grin.

"Jim apparently enjoys pudding and does not think that taking the normal amount is sufficient."

"So what you're telling me is Jim just forced three shots down your gullet?"

"That is what I just said."

McCoy dropped the papers in his hands and laughed silently. Spock frowned at him as he rubbed his forearms trying to ignore the tingling in his hands.

"I do not find this in the least bit humorous."

"If you were on my end you would." McCoy choked out. "I don't know if I'm more amused or disappointed that you are such a light weight."

"A light weight?" Spock quirked an eyebrow.

"Hmm, well you don't appear to be drunk yet. I wonder if I could get Jim to get more of that chocolate into you."

"I am glad I was able to amuse you Doctor."

"Spock!"

Spock was turned suddenly by a sticky grasp to face a very upset Kirk. He almost fell before catching his balance.

"Scotty said you might be dying! Are you dying?"

"He's fine Jim, he just doesn't like pudding you shouldn't have forced it on him."

Kirk looked between the two of them before placing a sticky hand on Spock's forehead.

"He's awful hot."

"Vulcan's body's give off more heat then we do. He'll be fine."

A moment later Yeoman Rand came running in through the door.

"I'm sorry Dr. McCoy he got away from me."

"It's fine Rand."

McCoy pulled Kirk away from Spock who seemed to have frozen in place. There was a chocolate smear on his forehead and his left hand was hovering near his mouth.

"Spock? Maybe you should go clean up." McCoy watched as Spock licked the chocolate from his fingers and shuddered.

"Mr. Spock?" Chapel gently touched his upper arm. "Do you need help getting back to your quarters?"

"No. Thank you." Spock eyed Kirk who was staring at him with McCoy's arm firmly tucked around his shoulders. "I can make it to my quarters on my own."

Kirk watched him leave then looked at McCoy.

"Do you think Spock is gonna stay mad at me forever?"

"He's not mad Jim he's just thinking a lot right now." McCoy walked over to one of the beds. "Now, it's time to get your mind back on track."

"Does that mean another hypo?" Kirk whined as he followed then hopped up on the bed.

"This should be the last one." McCoy grinned. "Thankfully Scotty still had some of that fruit on him even if he used it to throw it in my face."

"So I'll be all better?"

"Yes, this should put you to sleep so your mind can heal itself without hurting you." he used the hypo while Kirk was busy laying down.

"So when I wake up I can be Captain again?" Kirk asked as he yawned.

McCoy watched him curl up on his side and tuck a thumb into the corner of his mouth. Grinning he sent Rand for the other three while he checked Kirk's vitals.

An hour later McCoy watched his patients come around all of them wearing varying expressions of confusion.

"Good to have you back Jim."

"Jesus Bones what the hell happened my stomach is killing me." Kirk sat up hands on his middle. "And why are my hands all sticky?"

McCoy was in the middle of explaining when Spock staggered into the sick bay.

"Spock! What happened?" Kirk leapt off the bed and rushed to his side.

"You seem better." Spock grinned. "I am glad that you're voice is back to normal the country twang was more than slightly irritating."

"Spock?" Kirk took a step back and looked him up and down. "Bones did Spock eat some of that fruit you were telling me about?"

"Well, no." McCoy busied himself with shutting down the medical beds.

"I had fruit with you in the mess hall." Spock pointed out helpfully.

"That's not the fruit he meant." McCoy put a hand on Spock's forearm, leaning in to whisper in his ear."I thought you were going to go sleep this off or something."

"I couldn't sleep until I knew Jim was better." Spock turned to look at Kirk. "He appears better."

"Yeah we finally found a mixture that would clear out the chemicals in that fruit." McCoy frowned. "Do you want a hypo to clear out your bloodstream?"

"I don't think you have one keyed to my Vulcan anatomy."

"Spock, are you drunk?" Kirk asked surprised.

"Not drunk just a little inebriated, it should pass soon."

Kirk turned to McCoy who was grinning and trying to push Spock onto a bed.

"I thought Spock didn't drink."

"He doesn't. Not that it would effect him much anyways, but it appears that there are other things that can make a Vulcan drunk."

"It was most definitely not by choice." Spock grumbled sitting on the bed.

"Dr. McCoy." Kirk all but growled, "Tell me what the hell happened."

"You did." McCoy smirked, "It seems you shoved quite the mouthful of chocolate pudding into Spock's mouth when you were, unwell."

"That would explain my sticky hands if I was as bad as you say." Kirk grinned.

"You were worse Jim I think you left bruises." Spock groaned as he fell back on the bed.

"Bruises?"

"You should call your mother and apologize." he replied opening his eyes.

"For what?" Kirk sounded offended.

"Being such a brat."


End file.
